Chapter 1: You are Disposable
- Manhood Shitty Shit
- Jun 17, 2018
- 14 min read
Updated: Jan 8, 2020
Chapter 1: You are Disposable
‘‘Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable.’’
- Someone somewhere –
‘‘Older men declare war. But it is the youth that must fight and die.’’
- Herbert Hoover –
In the first chapter of this book, I want to tackle the topic of ‘‘male disposability’’ as it is one of the most important subjects to acknowledge if you ever want to be a free man.
What does it mean to be disposable? Let’s start from the beginning. The dynamic of male disposability come from our tribal ancestors. In order for a tribe to survive, its members had to protect their women. Simply put, if half of a tribe’s women died, the number of children they could have in the next generation would be dramatically reduced. However, if half of the tribe's men died, they could still impregnate all of the women and bring forth a new generation. Even if there were one hundred women and a single man left, he could still repopulate the whole tribe after a few generations. Sperm is cheap and abundant while eggs are scarce and precious.
Rival factions could easily conquer a tribe with a diminished population, but on the other hand, stealing women from neighboring clans was an opportunity to increase one’s population, become stronger, and expand the clan’s defenses. This meant that a nearby society had more than enough incentive to exploit an opportunity to strike, plunder resources, and seizes the women from a weakened neighbor. Doing so would boost their chances of survival by a fair margin, and their enlarged community would scare off enemy factions.
Losing women was too risky, and it could mean the end for a tribe. For this reason, males adopted all of the dangerous roles: exploring, hunting, fighting, protecting, warfare, and ultimately, dying for the tribe.
In fact, making males disposable was so important that it became the foundation of every successful civilization throughout history. Societies that trained their men to be willing to sacrifice themselves not only survived but thrived.
Throughout the course of history, men received a lot of benefits for this sacrifice. It was necessary for the survival of our species, and it was widely celebrated. Men had power; they were the master of their home and master of the tribe. They were in charge, and they were honored and respected. But if you want my opinion, this is nothing but meager compensation for a life of hardship and servitude. The fact remains that, for a man to gain a position of power, he first has to learn servitude by serving others. Once he obtains that power, it is not used exclusively for himself, but in the service of the greater community. It is an illusion of power. It is an exchange, or a trade; a life of hardships and servitude for a fantasy of authority and control.
This satisfies the male instinct for dominance, but a bitter cost must be paid. It’s a raw deal, don't you agree? I personally believe that ‘‘power’’ is highly overrated.
Male disposability has been hammered into men's psyches since early childhood with unceasing conditioning. Without a hardcore education no man would be willing to sacrifice himself. In fact, male disposability as we know it exists only in humans; you won't see this behaviour exhibited in other species. There is a ‘‘sex drive disposability’’ in animal species, but it is entirely different from what men experience.
Today, nothing has changed. Men are as disposable as ever. ‘‘Women and children first’’ is still the norm. If there’s a burning building with a man and a woman inside and we can only save one, odds are better than good that the woman will be saved. Every single time. The same thing happens when we rescue hostages. The police deal with the criminals to free women and children while the men stay to endure the mercy of their captors. Or if a boat sinks, we will give the seats on the rescue boat to the women while men are left to die. If a man does not willingly give up his place to a woman, then he is viewed as evil.
Most people know the Titanic film released in 1997, but not everyone is aware of the real circumstances behind the tragedy. The RMS Titanic was a British passenger liner that sank in the North Atlantic Ocean in 1912 after the ship struck an iceberg during her maiden voyage from Southampton to New York City. A total of 2,208 people sailed on the maiden voyage of the RMS Titanic, resulting in the deaths of over 1,500 people (832 passengers and 685 crew members). In this tragedy, 80% of all male passengers boarding the Titanic perished, and those who survived were mostly First Class passengers. When the Titanic was sinking, in order to save seats for women and children, most men who tried to save their skin by going into a lifeboat were shot on the spot by armed crew members.
The message sent to men throughout such actions couldn’t be more straightforward: ‘‘Your life is worth nothing.’’
Which do you prefer, a slow death in icy waters or a bullet to the chest? Somehow, a romantic movie was made out of this!
The average woman loves this scenario and dreams that were she in the same situation, her partner would lay down his life for her. Women only think like this because they aren’t the ones mercilessly pierced by a bullet or left to drown in icy water.
Do you remember the rich man in the Titanic movie whose name was Caledon Hockley? He took a seat on a lifeboat by bribing a guard, and he was seen as the villain only because he wanted to live. True, he was a selfish prick, but to me the guy was smart. He listened to his survival instinct and lived. This is nothing to be ashamed of, but the truth of the matter is that everything is summed up with a simple equation: one life is more valuable than the other. The life of a woman is more valuable than the life of a man. If that wasn’t the case, then why would we always place women first? An arrangement that would put men and women on the same ground would be: children first, men and women second. But that it isn't so, is it. We even verbally frame it as ‘‘women and children first’’, with women coming before children. Why don't we say ``children and women first``? Indeed, for this common expression to be phrased in such a way, doesn't it mean that we value women even more than our children?
We can also see the concept of male disposability with the lack of caring we have for male death. Ninety-four to 97% of deaths in the workplace are men. Yet, when you hear of a man dying on the news, you will almost never hear ''a man died''. The man is reduced to his title or occupation, never portrayed as a human being.
‘‘An officer has died.’’
‘‘Ten soldiers lost their life.’’
‘‘A firefighter died on duty.’’
It’s as though we had just lost some resources. Try to verify this yourself and you will see that the word ‘‘man’’ is invisible when we are talking about male death.
On the inverse, whenever you see a woman's death on the news, you can be sure that every single time you will know what her gender is and the whole country will hear about her ‘‘heroic’’ story. She will never be simply referred to as ‘‘an officer’’ but as a woman.
There is also the suicide rate which, depending on where you live, is three to four time higher for men when compared to women, yet no one addresses this problem.
For example, it was found out by the “American Foundation for Suicide Prevention” that in 2017, men died by suicide 3,54 times more often than women.
In 2016, compared to women, men were three times more likely to die by suicide in Australia.
In the UK, men died by suicide 3,16 times more often than women.
You can find similar numbers throughout every western country. It is sad that most people don’t know about the suicide epidemic amongst men. There is also the life expectancy of men in North America, which is five to seven years shorter than that of women. Again, this is a subject widely ignored. In Russia, men’s life expectancy is eleven years shorter than women’s. And this is not a biological phenomenon, as Catholic priests have always lived just as long as your everyday woman (and also just as long as Nuns). The life expectancy gap is not biological and it is purely a question of lifestyle.
There are also the oppressive laws that financially alienate men against their will to a woman via child support and alimony.
The reality is that a woman could inseminate herself with your semen, (which is inside the condom you put in the trash), get pregnant, and sue you for child support. I wish I was making this up, but I’m not. It has happened to multiple men in the US.
For every case that went to the family court, we saw another man forced to pay child support! There are even blogs and articles on the Internet with titles like ‘‘Sperm-Jackers: The five types’’ that teach men which type of women are most likely to ‘‘steal’’ their sperm!
There are also the many stories of underage men who had sex with an older woman, which is pedophilia, who then got pregnant and waited for the young man to be eighteen to sue him for child support. This is perfectly legal, and these young boys will be paying child support to the pedophiles that abused them. If they don’t pay, these victimized boys will most likely end up in prison (take note that the prison part does not apply to every country).
This state of affairs reduces men to a mere utility. We are disposable tools. Male disposability thrives on the central idea that male suffering does not matter, that it is best if it is ignored. We are conditioned not to care, so we simply look the other way.
Let me repeat my first statement; being disposable to this degree is not natural. People do not wake up in the morning with a spontaneous urge to sacrifice themselves. If this statement were correct, then the question is how do we get our boys to learn this? It all starts with the nurturing of our young.
According to a publication of the University of Pittsburgh Office of Child Development, baby boys tend to cry more than baby girls.
The following information is based on a review of empirical research published by Allan N. Schore, called ‘‘All our sons: The developmental neurobiology and neuroendocrinology of boys at risk,’’ and on a study titled ‘‘The fragile male’’ published by Sebastian Kraemer, consultant child, and adolescent psychiatrist.
[Baby boys are more emotionally reactive than girls. The human male is, on most measures, more vulnerable than the female. Part of the explanation is the biological fragility of the male fetus, which is little understood and not widely known. The male fetus is at greater risk of death or damage from almost all the obstetric catastrophes that can happen before birth. Prenatal brain damage, cerebral palsy, congenital deformities of the genitalia and limbs, premature birth, and stillbirth are commoner in boys, and by the time a boy is born he is on average developmentally some weeks behind his sister: “A newborn girl is the physiological equivalent of a 4 to 6 week old boy.”
Take note that this does not mean girl are better than boys, as the male brain is heavier, with a larger hypothalamus, probably from the influence of a surge of testosterone in the third trimester of pregnancy, which also promotes greater muscle bulk. This is highly advantageous later in life, but it also comes with greater vulnerability in the early days of the baby.
Baby boys display more positive as well as more negative effects, and display more distress and demands for contact than do girls. It is clear that the male is more vulnerable at the beginning of his life. When caregivers assume that from birth a boy ought always to be tougher than a girl, his inborn disadvantage will be amplified.]
We expect grown men to be tough, and we expect the same from our baby boys. Boys learn very soon that their needs are not important and that they should take care of themselves. They learn that seeking help is fruitless and that their pain and fears should be ignored and pushed down.
A clear manifestation of this concept is how we view weaknesses in men and women. For a woman, showing her vulnerability and her pain is an opportunity to receive empathy and compassion. By opening herself when she is vulnerable, most women will be able to bond and connect with others. Thus, showing her weak side, her suffering or sharing her difficulties are good things. They are rewarded with warm feelings and the affection of others.
However, men do not experience this same thing. When sharing their vulnerabilities with others, men will often be seen as weak, unreliable, and unattractive. For sharing his emotions in the workplace, a man is perceived as unstable and not fit for a higher position. For sharing his weaknesses with other men, he is seen as feminine and as an embarrassment. For sharing his suffering with women, he will be viewed as cowardly and unattractive. Even with his spouse, if a man openly and frequently shows his emotions and vulnerabilities, these small actions will kill his partner’s sexual attraction in no time, and he will have to kiss his sex life goodbye.
This last point is a significant one. Men will do what it takes to have sex. This drive is so powerful that it can partially overwrite the survival instinct, and it does just that for a lot of species. It is both common sense and scientific fact that women desire stoic and powerful men, and since men have such an incredible drive to seek sex, we naturally learn the characteristics needed to accomplish this biological imperative.
Women’s attraction to stoic, dominant, and emotionally unavailable men is an essential factor that explains why so many men are out of touch with their emotions. This is the way evolution works. Women’s ovaries crave for the resources that will help them go through a successful pregnancy and raise a child properly. The world isn’t all pink and cozy, and for millennia, it was cold-blooded, unfeeling, and proactive men who where needed to gather those resources for women. Imagine what kind of character you would develop if you had to kill other men to defend your tribe, steal their food when your family faced starvation, or conquer new territory when your homeland was destroyed by a natural disaster. You can’t do these sorts of thing on a regular basis and be highly emotional at the same time. In fact, these actions will act as permanent brandings on your personality, slowly transforming you into an efficient machine.
In our distant past, such characteristics were needed for the survival of our species, but that is not the case today. Still, even in our safe and prosperous environment, women’s ovaries obsess over men’s resources just as much as they did in the past. Even today, most women will only form a family with men that are more dominant, more successful and more experienced than they are. Did you know that divorce rates increase exponentially when a man loses his job?
In a study published in the American Sociological Review, Harvard sociologist Alexandra Achen Killewald tracked 6,309 married couples between 1968 and 2013. She found that, 1,684 of them divorced or permanently separated during that time. Alexandra Achen Killewald found out that the husband’s job is the best predictor of divorce while the wife's job does not significantly impact the integrity of the relationship. In other words, the divorce rate of married couples increase exponentially when the husband loses his job, but the same cannot be said when the wife loses her job.
A similar phenomenon also occurs when a woman receives a promotion and starts to out-earn her husband. In 2013, the University of Chicago Booth School of Business published a paper that examined at 4,000 married couples in America. It was found that once a woman starts to earn more than her husband, divorce rates rose sharply. The interesting thing is that whether the wife makes a little bit more or a lot more than her husband makes almost no difference. The researchers concluded that what really matters is the mere fact of a woman earning more!
In 2013, researchers from the Washington University in St. Louis studied data from 200,000 married couples in Denmark. And they found that when women were earning more than their husbands, they were more likely to use anti-anxiety medications and more likely to suffer from insomnia.
When a wife starts to out-earn her husband, her most basic and primal instincts will slowly begin to howl at her like a pack of rabid beasts. Her man does not have the resource to buy her ovaries anymore. Her husband may have lost his job, or perhaps she got a promotion and is now out-earning him, but whatever the case may be, what is truly important is that her sexual market value has become higher than her husband's sexual market value, and now she feels threatened.
Since she makes more money than him, the woman will inevitably question the validity of their relationship. Did she make the right choice when she chose this man? She could certainly do better. If she can out-earn him, he doesn't deserve her, right? Absolutely, she does deserve better than a man with weak ambitions!
Relationships are a transactional thing. You pay for a woman’s beauty, youth, and fertility with your resources; you pass down your DNA, and hopefully, you successfully raise a couple of children. If you cannot keep up with this transaction your odds of getting thrown into the garbage bin will become catastrophically high.
This type of ‘‘business operation’’ creates distant, unemotional, and success-obsessed men. For most men, the whole validity of their being resides on achieving this false narrative.
Evidently, there are some occasions where it is okay for a man to show his emotions, but they are limited, and he must carefully choose how much he allows himself to reveal.
One can decide to share his feeling regularly, but it will be at the cost of a part of his attractiveness toward the opposite sex, a part of his dignity toward other men and a part of his credibility at work. For men, openly showing vulnerability and weakness has some pretty bad payoff.
Therefore, boys quickly learn to ‘‘man up,’’ to suck it up. It is a rigid training regimen that makes boys discard their emotions. This process makes them understand that they have no intrinsic value and that unless they are productive, society won’t bestow them any value. The best thing they can do is to be of use to others, especially to women. In order to find some self-worth, men bury themselves in their work, in their status, and in their roles. They become the perfect provider.
Distanced from his dreams, from himself and from others, even ready to die to save a stranger, the man is nothing but a shadow of what he should be.
Ultimately, this training prepares the man for the day when he will have to protect his family, waiting for the enemy with a gun in hands while his loved ones flee. He has been trained for it since childhood and has internalized his disposability long ago, so he will readily accept whatever cruel fate awaits him.
On the other side, the baby girl received more care and learned that her needs were paramount. When she asks for help, it is given, when she is in distress, she is heard. She knows that she is important and that she is valued. This girl has been trained to value and protect her own life. She will not become the perfect provider, she will not sacrifice herself, and she certainly won't wait for the enemy with a gun in hand while her husband flees with the children.
It doesn’t matter how much she loves or respects her husband, because she has been trained to value and protect her own life. She will flee while he dies.
To me, the problem is right there. Men’s sacrifice is unilateral and will never be reciprocated. It’s not mutual, and it will never be. Since it cannot be mutual, men shouldn’t do it, as laying down your life, protecting, and providing for someone who will never return the favor, would be, in my opinion, foolish and gullible.
This realization by itself is certainly more than enough to feel angry and betrayed, but to me, it is the source of a profound sense of deception and a deep sadness. This fact left a bitter and painful stain on my heart that I will never be able to forget. I wished that it wasn’t so; that men and women could be partners of equal value, but evolution is an impartial arbiter.
This is The Red Pill, and trust me, swallowing it is unsettling in more than just one way. But I promise you this; once you overcome the first stage of denial, you will see that this truth is permeating every sphere of your life. Your friends, your family, that cute girl you have a crush on, your neighbors, your co-workers, your boss, your mentor, your idols, there is no exception here. It’s like realizing that you’ve been living in the Matrix while simultaneously knowing that you cannot escape it.
With all of this in mind, is there a solution? Well, there isn't a perfect one, but here’s what I propose. Reject this concept, refuse to be disposable, and refuse to become the perfect provider. Seek your own value. View your life for what it is. You are valuable. Men are the foundation of society, and we are not replaceable. Neither are you. This quest is not about others, but about you. Accepting the truth and acting upon it is the first step, so why not take it? After all, you have the resources to build your life the way you want it to be.
Males and females suicide (Statistic Canada):
Males suffer from the majority of violent crimes and assault:
Women's attraction to aggressive men:
Women's are less attracted to weak men:
This chapter was partly inspired by Karen Straughan’s video titled ``Feminism and the Disposable Male``. I highly suggest that you check it out.
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