Chapter 10: Superiority, Dominance, and Dust

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Chapter 10: Superiority, Dominance, and Dust

‘‘It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other.’’

- Samuel Johnson –

Men… Our relationships with one another are invariably tainted with gains, benefits, greed, and selfishness. Our dominance instinct, our intrinsic and overwhelming desire for more permeates our lives, our daily interactions, and it often dictates how we cooperate and maintain bonds with one another. The dominance hierarchy is an inevitable part of life. Because of that, men can often be hard pressed to establish meaningful relationships with one another. In fact, social dominance is the reason behind the dissolution of a large number of friendships. Opportunities and circumstances can change over time, and so can the hierarchy of a given group the position of its members.

A man who loses is status can quickly be ostracized by the opportunistic members of his communities who wish to rise in rank. Similarly, a person whose status increases will often have to face a crucial choice: cutting off ties with lower-ranking friends or taking the risk of being dragged back to their level. Human interactions are complex and multifaceted, but at their core they are heavily influenced by our biological imperatives. Dominance provides multiple benefits in both survival and reproduction. A powerful and charismatic man will naturally gather people, and by directing and leading them, he will have the opportunity to accumulate resources and prosper. Furthermore, having more wealth is directly related to mating success. And as such, men pursue dominance almost fanatically, and its impact on our interpersonal relationships is pervasive.

Dario Maestripieri, Ph.D., is a professor of comparative human development, evolutionary biology, and neurobiology at the University of Chicago. The following is a quote from his book ‘‘Games Primates Play: An Undercover Investigation of the Evolution and Economics of Human Relationships.’’

[‘‘A problem common to all relationships, no matter how strong or good they are, is one of conflicting interests—individuals want to act in ways that benefit themselves at the expense of their partner. Individuals with close social relationships interact regularly, and their interests clash multiple times a day.’’]

The easiest way for two individuals to resolve a disagreement would be to have a fight. The stronger individual gets what he wants and the loser doesn’t. This happens regularly in nature, but since the cost of injury can often be fatal (even for a winner), most species developed clear signals to display dominance and subordination in an effort to minimize the frequency of physical confrontations. This is even truer of humans because of the development of tools and weapons. Weapons are equalizers and even a weak man can kill a taller and stronger opponent if he is armed with a spear, a sword, or with a gun.

Furthermore, fighting can cause serious psychological arm to both parties involved and may lead to the dissolution of their relationship. This is not a viable strategy for encouraging healthy cooperation which promotes the rise of communities and civilizations.

[‘‘Negotiation can entail significant costs in time, energy, and cognitive and emotional resources (for example, constant worrying and rumination). Continuous fighting or negotiation also makes relationships unstable and stressful. Mother Nature has found a better solution to the problem of settling disagreements: dominance.

Two individuals in a relationship establish dominance with each other so that every time a disagreement arises, there is no need for fighting or negotiation. The outcome is always known in advance because it's always the same: the dominant individual gets what he wants and the subordinate doesn't.

There is no risk of injury, and no waste of time or energy or cognitive or emotional resources. The relationship is stable and predictable, which is good for mental health, and both partners can accomplish whatever joint goals they have.’’]

Humans have developed complexes behavioural pattern when it comes to non-verbal communication and dominance his mainly expressed through body language. To command more authority one can simply stand tall with his chest open while holding his head high. A dominant man may take more space by spreading his arms and legs wide apart, or expose vulnerable areas to show that he is fearless (hit me if you dare). He may put his hands on his hips (like fluffed rooster trying to appear bigger and more intimidating). Maybe he has his hands behind his back (a very self assured posture that reminds one of a patrolling police officer). It's all about exposing vulnerable parts of the body and gaining a lot of personal space.

By resolving a disagreement through body language, the dominant person gets what he wants without negotiation or a fight, and with a simple submissive smile, the other man avoid a conflict that he would surely lose. The benefit of the submissive man is that he avoids injuries.

[‘‘The costs of maintaining dominance include having to intimidate the subordinate every now and then to "remind" him of who is in charge, and some anxiety and stress associated with the preoccupation that the subordinate may be plotting a rebellion. These costs are small when compared to the huge costs the subordinate has to pay: always letting the dominant get what he wants. The advantage of establishing dominance to the subordinate is that he cuts his losses.

Behaving submissively to the dominant is advantageous to the subordinate only as a short-term strategy, to give the subordinate some time to acquire more physical strength or political power to mount an effective rebellion against the dominant. For example, it's advantageous to a younger and smaller individual to be subordinate to an older and larger one until the former has grown to be as large as or larger than the latter. Then, a fight will become necessary and advantageous. If the subordinate never challenges the dominant, the costs of subordination would continue to accumulate over time and at some point, this would become a maladaptive strategy: the costs would be greater than the benefits.’’]

Life is brutal in many ways, and relationships are often tainted by our egotistical needs. Human communities always made use of cultural mechanisms to sustain a certain level of peace and cooperation. These mechanisms include ostracism and ridicule, the moral rules of religions, and the range of uniquely human emotions, such as guilt and shame, which keep us in line.

A chimpanzee style of dominance is brimming with physical intimidations, assault, and frequent confrontations.

A typical dominance display from a chimpanzee begins with the chimp standing up straight with hair bristling, and an angry face so that his body looks larger and his face hostile. The dominant chimpanzee will start to sway back and forth, shoving brush and other vegetation out of the way with exaggerated movements. The chimpanzee may also throw large rocks, tear off tree branches, and drag them while running rapidly toward a potential victim. Dominance displays don't usually turn into a brawl, but those chimpanzees that don't get out of the way fast enough are likely to be slapped.

Alpha males can be overthrown and are sometimes killed by their community, as there have been several cases reported by researchers of alpha chimpanzees who were beaten with rocks and sticks, stomped on, and got their limbs broken before being cannibalized by their community.

Evolving tool and weapon technology would have made it difficult to sustain chimpanzee-style dominance in human groups because weapons are equalizers. If two unarmed men of unequal strength fought against each other, the weaker man would virtually be guaranteed to face a loss. If those two men each had a spear, the weaker man could land a lucky hit and have a slight chance of killing his opponent. If they both had guns, it would be impossible to guess who would win.

You will never be the strongest, and even if you could be, it would only last up until you injured yourself, got sick, or became old. Even if you were a good and just leader, people would still plot rebellion and try to overthrow you regardless of your principles.

Life is merciless and unforgiving, but it isn't without hope. There is one thing that you should never forget; in most cases, you will only need to be perceived as a potential threat in order to be left alone.

The honey badger is a small animal that lives in Africa, Southwest Asia, and the Indian subcontinent. The honey badger is about two feet long, its tail adds another foot to its length, and it closely resembles a weasel. The honey badger weighs approximately 26 pounds, which is around the weight of an average two-year-old child. The surprising thing about honey badgers is that they are utterly fearless, and they won’t back down even when confronted by a lion. Honey badgers are utterly fanatical; they will attack and bite a predator tens of times their size and weight without a second thought, and they will do so even when death is a guaranteed outcome. I have seen a video of a honey badger surrounded by six lionesses; fearlessly fighting and getting out of it alive.

Even imposing lions fear injury, especially when considering the fact that honey badgers have a tendency to bite their opponent in the face. Most of the time, risking an injury isn’t worth winning a senseless fight.

To look at another animal, the wolverine is a medium sized animal that lives mostly in Canada. Wolverines are from the weasel family, they weight between 18 to 40 pounds and measure up to 2.8 feet. Regardless of their size and strength, they will attack anything from small rodent to immense caribou (an herbivore that weighs up to 700 pounds). Sometimes they even fearlessly charge at bears, and most of the time that bear will flee.

Size and strength do not always mean everything, and the lesson that we can gain from these crazed animals isn’t that we should charge recklessly into danger, but that most opponents fear injury. Like any animal, most men will choose to avoid a confrontation if the foe is perceived to be a serious threat.

Being the best, the strongest, the smartest, or number one isn’t realistic, and to me, is a vain pursuit.

Dominance is fickle, as any man can become more or less dominant than you at any given time. You can fall from your position, lose your status, become vulnerable, and fail to keep your superiority. Certain things in life are completely out of your control, and there is nothing that you can do about it. The social dominance hierarchy is ever-changing, and like the wind, it’s not tangible. Dominance shouldn’t be seen as anything more than a useful tool. Our biology compels us to seek superiority by rewarding us with ‘‘feel good’’ hormones when we achieve positions of power, but making dominance our life goal would be, in my opinion, a meaningless pursuit.

As I said earlier, one simply needs to be a potential threat in order to be left alone. Unlike honey badgers or wolverines, you probably won’t need to be violent, but you can’t be a pushover and you can’t let others dominate you. Be your own man and rise above your own limitations.

Hopefully, by knowing the truth behind the dominance instinct and by understanding yourself you will be able to form genuine friendships with your fellow men.

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