Chapter 8: Disposability and Sex Drive
- Manhood Shitty Shit
- Jun 18, 2018
- 11 min read
Updated: Jan 8, 2020
Chapter 8: Disposability and Sex Drive
‘‘I was born to fertilize.’’
- Every male that has ever existed –
“What is the meaning of life? Why are we here? Philosophers have pondered that question for centuries. I'm afraid the answer is disappointingly simple: Mating. That's it.”
In this chapter, I want to talk about the male sex drive and how it can either be a fabulous tool or a knife in the foot.
To get a comparison, let's first compare the male and the female sex drive with some statistics.
Sociologists Pepper Schwartz and Philip Blumstein published in their book titled ‘‘American Couples: Money, Work, Sex’’ some interesting statistics regarding straight, gay, and lesbian couples, also please keep in mind that there can be individual differences. Of course, some women have high libidos, and some men have less sexual desire than others, but I am talking about statistics here.
According to sociologists Pepper Schwartz and Philip Blumstein's research, gay male couples have sex more frequently than heterosexual and lesbian couples. In the middle, there is the straight couple, and in the last position is the lesbian couple. How big is the disparity? It could be as high as 940%. According to their research, gay men have 9.4 times more sex than lesbian couples. Gay men also have the highest rate of infidelity and are more likely to allow sex outside of the relationship. Others studies suggest slightly different results, but they always place lesbian couples at the lowest frequency of sexual intercourse and gay men at the highest.
This makes a lot of sense since testosterone in a healthy man is five to ten times more abundant than in a woman, and this hormone is directly related to lust and blood flow to the genitals. When two men with a high libido and high testosterone levels get together, they will generally have way more sex than two women who have less testosterone.
If you think that lesbians don't need quantity because they have ‘‘quality’’ then you have been fooled. The majority of studies show an interesting phenomenon that has earned it the name of ‘‘lesbian bed death’’. Here is the Urban Dictionary definition of lesbian bed death: ‘‘When sexual relations between a lesbian couple have virtually ceased, yet the companionship remains.’’
This is no joke. In long-term relationships, roughly 1% of lesbian couples remain in the category considered as high frequency of sex, which is three events of sexual intercourse per week or more. In contrast, straight and gay couples who stay in that category count for about 15% to 18%. There are literally hundreds of blogs on the internet discussing how to fix ‘‘lesbian bed death’’. Look it up if you’re curious.
When we look at same-sex couples dynamics, we can have a new perspective on the sexual habits of men and women. Clearly, without any doubt, male libidos are sky high. Women can also crave sex or drool when they see a handsome man, but there is an enormous difference. Men will get turned on by almost any woman at any time. It does not have to be a handsome or a beautiful woman. The view of any ordinary woman will do, and it may turn him on at any moment. For example, women will not be turned on by virtually every male body on the beach, but males will be aroused by practically all women parading around in a swimsuit.
My point is that sex does not have the same importance for men and women, and the difference is so great that it will have significant effects on the way we live.
Let's look at some species in the animal kingdom.
The antechinus is a small marsupial that lives in Australia. When it is mating season, all the females go into heat at the same time, and this causes males to go into a mating frenzy that lasts for about two weeks. During this period, the males barely sleep or eat; they put everything else aside to mate non-stop. Cortisol accumulates to such an extreme level in the males that their organs and tissue can't repair properly, they develop internal bleeding, and the majority of them die off because of over mating.
The paper nautilus, also known as the Argonaut, is an octopus found in tropical water. The males of this species have a penis tentacle. When he finds a female, the male store sperm in his penis tentacle and he will sever it from his body. The penis tentacle will freely swim to the female, and the female octopus will receive the sperm from the penis tentacle before storing it into her shell. Without his member, the male Paper Nautilus bleeds off until death.
The praying mantis is an insect known for the strange habit of the females eating the males after sex. What is even more shocking is that in most cases the males do not resist being eaten alive. Somehow, the survival instinct of male mantises temporally shut down after sex, allowing them to be devoured by their partner. In some cases, male mantises have been found to throw themselves into the mouth of their partner.
Those previous examples are perfect to illustrate the times when the breeding instinct can overpower the survival instinct. In other words, the urge to pass down genes can be stronger than the urge to survive.
With most mammals, it won't go this far, but we do see an increase in aggressive behaviors and more frequent confrontations when it is the mating season. In the animal kingdom, receiving an injury can be catastrophic. If an animal gets an infection or if he is weakened by an injury, a predator will surely catch him. If his wound is severe, he will surely perish.
Johan Swanepoel
Royalty-free stock photo ID: 157315226
Red hartebeest dual in dust - Alcelaphus caama - Kalahari desert - South Africa
Being injured goes against the survival instinct, and an animal who wants to live another day will avoid injuries at all cost. Yet, during the mating season, the survival instinct loses power and is partially overwhelmed by the breeding instinct. Thus, a lot of male animals risk being injured by competing against rivals to have a chance in the mating game. In a previous chapter, I stated that there is no biological drive for men to be disposable, and I maintain that statement. Let me explain.
In nature, males do not take care or provide for females. Let's look at lions as a quick example. In a lion pack, when the females hunt and kill prey, if the male is hungry, he will come and push the lionesses out of the way to eat first. If a lioness does not adapt to the group and makes trouble, the male will shove her out of the pack. The male does not place the female's safety above his own, and he doesn't provide for them. However, he will battle other males for dominance and risk his life to pass down his genes. His breeding instinct may decrease his chance to survive when he fights others males, but in every other situation, he is not disposable. The male protects the female to the extent that he let her stay in his territory free of charge, and since he defends his territory from foreign threats, the female enjoys additional security. However, males in the animal kingdom won't sacrifice their lives to protect random females. Even a male praying mantis, which will throw himself into the mouth of his partner to feed her, won't go out of his way to help a female mantis in danger if he happens to come across one.
The instinct to breed manifests itself with a wave of chemicals that overwhelm the brain. Scientists even compare its power with that of cocaine. It takes a lot of guts to flirt with potential injuries, sometimes life-threatening ones, and the influence of those powerful chemicals is the solution that evolution found to motivate males to take those risks. When the body is under the effect of sexual attraction, it generates a soup of hormones and neurotransmitters like dopamine, norepinephrine (which is similar to adrenaline), endorphins, and testosterone, which is directly related with lust. Finally, the body lowers its serotonin level, which is a thing that also happens when an individual shows obsessive-compulsive behaviors.
This phenomenon exclusively occurs when there is an opportunity to mate or to establish dominance, which may lead to sex. At any other given moment, males in the animal kingdom won't endanger their lives for females. I will call this ‘‘sex drive disposability’’. This is something that uniquely affects males, but it is different from the disposability that men face. Let's look at another example.
So, imagine that all the crew members and passengers in the Titanic were replaced by chimpanzees, and the ship started to sink. Lifeboats are in place and ready to be used. Considering that the chimps knew how to use lifeboats, will the male chimps quietly and orderly let the female chimps take the free places into the various lifeboats first? Will they kill any male chimps that try to escape? Titanic's officers mercilessly gunned down any men that tried to flee into a lifeboat; do you really think that any other animal would do the same thing? Of course that wouldn’t happen. The male chimps would push their way out and save their own skin even if they had to injure several females in the process. You can switch the chimps for any animal, and you will get the same result. We, humans, are the exception, not because of some instinct we’ve acquired, but because of incessant conditioning that begins in our childhood. Thus I argue that there is the ‘‘sex drive disposability’’ seen everywhere in the animal kingdom, and then there is the ‘‘disposable man’’ which is unique to us.
Humans possess a powerful breeding instinct, and it is the perfect tool to numb our pain and encourage us to ignore our fears. This does have a practical side, but it also has a bad one. The male sex drive, which is so powerful, makes us more susceptible to manipulation.
After all, compared to most animals that reproduce only at a few predetermined periods of the year, humans are ‘‘in heat’’ all year long. In the early development of humans, men took all the dangerous jobs. Risking their life to hunt or scaring a rival tribe away was the best way to impress women and have sex. Establishing dominance, taking dangerous roles, and risking our lives were all things that were enabled through the breeding instinct. Such intense rushes of hormones and neurotransmitters could successfully inhibit our fear of injury and even death. But as humans evolved, we changed the ‘‘sex drive disposability’’ (which is inclusively related to mating opportunities) into the ‘‘disposable man’’.
What do I mean by this? I imply that in everyday life we regularly protect women but not men. The court system commonly favors women and punishes men with harsher sentences (a man's prison sentences for a particular crime will be on average 63% longer than a woman who did the same thing, even if they both had the same motives, circumstances, and criminal record). In everyday life, we take excessive care of our girls while discarding our boys. We disregard men's pain, and we train them young so that they become disposable. But we teach our daughters that they are valuable. This is not the result of the sex drive. It is a manifestation of human greed, and it has always been profitable to women and the few elite men that run society.
A quick example would be the samurai in Japan. In the past, samurais always carried two swords with them. The first and longer sword was the katana used for combat, while the second and shorter sword was a symbol of honor and was rarely used on the battlefield. The smaller sword was called a Wakizashi and used to commit seppuku (suicide). A Samurai who was captured by the enemy, a samurai who failed an important mission, or a samurai who dishonored his family would cut open his bowels, empty his insides onto the ground, and die to keep his honor intact. This is the ‘‘disposable man’’. It has nothing to do with the sex drive, and it is a tool used to manipulate men into being docile, subordinate, and self-sacrificing chess pieces.
No amount of sex drive, regardless of how big it is, will compel a man to adopt this foolish role. It can only be hammered into men's head during childhood. The difference between humans and the rest of the mammals is that male animals are solely disposable for mating opportunities while human men are disposable everywhere at any time. There is definitely a natural drive that pushes us to take risks for mating opportunities, but there is no natural drive to be disposable. Women benefit from the ‘‘disposable man’’ because it gives them access to obedient and dependable providers, but they could never force us to take this role. We are the ones who made this possible. We are entirely responsible for making ourselves disposable and for enforcing it on other men. Beware, many ‘‘white knights’’ who seem to have principles on the surface actually have no integrity when it comes to women. They blindly prioritize women’s issues at the expense of mankind and are promoting the unhealthy dynamic of the ‘‘disposable man’’ even more than the average man.
With ten times more testosterone than women, and probably ten times more lust and libido, it was easier for us to fall into this role which could achieve our greatest desire, sex. In early human development, men and women would create relationships that mutually benefited each other. The man provided for and protected the woman, but if the female didn't bring any advantage to the table, the male could leave her and she would be left alone and vulnerable to the world's danger. In order to keep her man, a woman had to please him, care for him when he was injured, and guarantee him sex and work hard to provide what she could. If she didn't, he would leave. Thus, both partners received benefits from the relationship.
The era of the nuclear family was probably the only period with some sort of balance between the sexes. Note that I said balance and not equality. Equality would only be possible if we no longer possessed gender. If we became a sexless hermaphroditic species and there were no longer men and women, then equality would be a given. Since this won’t happen in the near future, a healthy balance is the only possible alternative.
As civilization sprouted from the earth, everything became more complicated. Women have always been the ‘‘resource’’ that produced new generations of humans, so they needed to be protected at all costs and the men had such a high sex drive that they would gladly do it. When it was on an individual level, it was fine because women had to give something in exchange for the protection, but once they got the security of a larger entity, things no longer remained the same.
Once women started to receive protection from a settlement or a city, they were no longer entirely dependent on a single man. Thus, a woman did not need as much protection as she used to, but the man pursued sex just as much. To earn a lady, a man had to bring more and more to the table while the woman had to bring less and less. A good example of this would be the dowry system that was adopted countless societies. Women were so precious that marrying them was worth a lot of money. You would never see this in a small tribal community because, at their cores, relationships are a simple matter of bonding, sex, and mutual benefits.
Nowadays, the balance of power is overly tipped toward women and a few elite men. The ordinary males are the lowest class in society, and this is why there is a backlash. Men are now boycotting marriage; they are going their own way and living only for themselves. The unfortunate side of the male sex drive is that the numbing of our fear and pain facilitates the role of the disposable man. But you can still get out of this role with some effort. The good side of the sex drive is that it gives us extra motivation to obtain what we want. This big soup of hormones pushes us to achieve more status and more income to establish dominance, but it can also push our dream forward with great momentum.
This incredible energy can be used in sciences, arts, sports, outdoor activities, or whatever you like and want to accomplish. The motivation that comes with the male sex drive is something that is unique, and its benefits should not be underestimated. There will never be a majority of women in positions of power because they lack this mechanism that numbs fear and provides extra motivation, well, unless they are forcefully put in these positions to fill the ‘‘gender gap’’, but that is a subject for another time.
Albert Einstein and a lot of great minds will never get their woman equivalent because of that. It is a great gift that we have inherited from our ancestors, and under the proper circumstances, it can be a useful tool to creating a fulfilling life. Although one must not forget that with great benefits also comes high risks. Understanding the profoundness of the male sex drive should not be overlooked if you want to be a free man. The way in which you invest this powerful energy may very well decide where your life will bring you. It is entirely up to you to channel it positively.
Sex in heterosexual and homosexual couples:
Men have longer prison sentences than women when convicted of same crime:
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