Chapter 25 – Civilization, the Tsunami of Choices

Previous chapter Next chapter

Chapter 25 – Civilization, the Tsunami of Choices

“All empires fall, eventually. But why? It’s not for lack of power. In fact, it seems to be the opposite. Their power lulls them into comfort. They become undisciplined. Those who had to earn power are replaced by those who have known nothing else. Who have no comprehension of the need to rise above base desires.”

- Max Barry, Lexicon –

‘‘If you are concerned with the humanity of men, with their access to compassion and choice, you would be ill-advised to consider anyone your ally that says in one breath that feminism is harmful, and out of the next that we need men to learn how to treat women according to a chivalrous code.’’

- Peter Wright & Paul Elam -

Herbivore men, also known as grass-eater men, is a term used in Japan to describe men who have no interest in getting married or finding a girlfriend. The term is also used to describe young men who have lost their manliness. In a 2011 poll of Japanese boys aged between 16 and 19, 36% said they were not interested in having sex. Surveys of single Japanese men conducted in 2010 found that 61% of men in their 20s and 70% of men in their 30s considered themselves to be herbivores.

According to a survey done in 2016 by the National Institute of Population and Social Security Research, 42% of millennial men (from 18 to 34 years old in 2016 and represents almost half of Japan's millennial men) are virgins.

Japan has one of the world's lowest birthrates in the world and is home to a severely aging population, with a recent survey finding 34.6 million Japanese aged over 65. With an aging population, a shrinking workforce that threatens the economy, a birthrate many times below replacement levels, and a young generation that work less than their predecessors and doesn’t produce kids, the future of Japan looks grim.

In the mainstream media, Japan's lack of interest in sex is blamed on everything but the real issues. The popular theory is that the stagnant economy is negatively impacting marriage rates and that Japanese manga, video games, and a general culture of fantasy over reality are the leading causes of the declining birth rates in Japan.

Let’s examine a few overlooked variables so we can better understand this phenomenon.

I argue that ‘‘Karōshi’’, which translate to ‘‘overwork death’’ or ‘‘occupational sudden mortality’’, is one of the actual causes behind the declining birth rates. The major medical causes of karōshi are heart attacks and strokes due to stress and a starvation diet. This phenomenon is also widespread in South Korea, where it is referred as ‘‘gwarosa’’. In China, overwork-induced death is called ‘‘guolaosi’’.

Couple these terms with the unprecedented levels of entitlement present in the current generations of Japanese women and we have the perfect recipe to scare young men off of relationships before becoming ‘‘herbivore’’.

I must mention that the following argument will serves to illustrate trends and isn’t designed to point fingers at all Japanese women. Behaviors that are perceived as common are useful to understand larger phenomenon.

A study by an affiliate of Tokyo-based Meiji Yasuda Life Insurance shows that Japanese women have traditionally sought the "three highs" in the perfect partner:

- High academic achievements

- Physical height

- An elevated income

However, the report suggests that income is the prime concern of Japanese women. The study also says:

"More than half of single women want their spouses to earn at least four million yen a year. Meanwhile, only 15.2% of single men in their 20s earn four million yen or more. This gap seems to be one of the reasons for more people not marrying at all or marrying late."

The fact that money a crucial factor for Japanese women can be observed in many forums. The Japan-guide is one of such example. Here are a few comments found in Japan-guide.com from foreign men who experienced problems with the financial expectations of their Japanese bride:

‘‘If you are a guy earning 100k per year you will have no problem attracting a beautiful Japanese girl. But, keep in mind that she will expect you to stay on the success track.’’

- ‘‘Japanese women, especially the ones from Tokyo, expect you will provide a very high standard of living for them… You will be expected to purchase for her only luxury brand purses, makeup, automobiles, and clothing!’’

- ‘‘All Japanese women expect to control the family finances. This often creates turmoil in the household when the man is told to hand over his paycheck for the wife to use to finance the family expenditures. American men are not accustomed to this, and when they say no to their sexy young bride she starts to give attitude in return.’’

- ‘‘They expect not to have to work! This is very common amongst all the couples I know where the Japanese wife does not want to work, and expects to be a stay at home housewife.’’

- ‘‘Japanese women expect to travel… on your dime! When they get married you now become the de-facto “parent” who provides financially for her lifestyle, which of course includes travel! Trust me when I say this, when putting up $5k to $10k for a trip to Athens or Paris because that’s where “she” wants to go starts to hit the pocketbook pretty significantly.’’

- ‘‘Japanese women expect their husbands to work long hours! If the husband or boyfriend is not putting a lot of time in his career/professional they look at him like he is not worthy of their time.’’

- ‘‘Japanese women expect not to work or contribute financially to the household! Not all, but most of the Japanese women I have dated thought the responsibility of the husband was to provide financially for the family. If you ask your Japanese wife to get a job and contribute she would look at you like there was something wrong with you!’’

In a survey conducted by Japanese magazine Nikkan Spa in 2013, 200 married male office workers aged between 20-40 were asked whether they had ever considered divorcing their spouse.

An astounding 65.5% answered “yes”.

The two most frequent reasons for wanting to divorce were ‘‘Our financial values are different’’ and ‘‘Her personality is too intense’’.

Here are a few comments from the office workers who were surveyed:

- ‘‘Demands from the wife are endless.’’

- ‘‘She even goes so far as to belittle me in front of the children.’’

- ‘‘The nagging and whining here and there have become a daily ritual.’’

- “Since giving birth to our child, my wife has absolutely no interest in sex whatsoever.’’

It was also noted in the article from JapanToday ‘‘Foreign men share their reasons for divorcing Japanese wives’’ that lack of sex and a tendency for Japanese wives to resort to anger played a central role in leading to divorce. Here a few comments from the article:

- “I’m currently on the verge of getting divorced. Things have spiraled down to the point where my wife and I are discussing whether or not she will take the children back with her to Japan. If we split, the reason will be due to the absence of sex in our marriage. My wife seems to have lost all of her sex drive, although I still have mine. Apart from that, everything in our marriage was going well…”

- “The reason that my marriage of 20 years failed was because my wife would often make a mountain out of a molehill. Many problems that could have been solved in a few minutes were blown out of proportion. It wasn’t good for our mental health.”

- “I’m glad we got divorced. We split during our tenth year of marriage. I am now raising our two children in Australia. My ex-wife’s violent side was terrible. It was a very bitter experience, but after getting divorced I am now living a much better lifestyle.”

Japanese women clearly have high expectations. If you were a young man growing up in Japan, the chances are that you saw your father burying himself into his work, possibly dying of Karōshi, and it may have looked like your father’s life, money, efforts, and dreams were swept under the carpet. And for what? The chances are that it was for a spoiled and ungrateful wife who thought of him has nothing more than a cash dispenser. Is it really such a puzzle to understand why Japanese men are distancing themselves from women and life-threatening levels of overwork? They do not want to become a man with a broken spirit; the shadow of a person like their fathers were.

Men are the enablers, and men decide where society goes. If all men simultaneously agreed to bring back a system of patriarchy, women would be forced to comply. Women could try to bargain, nag, and argue, but as long as man stayed firm, women would have no choice but to listen and behave. When men collectively decide on something, there is nothing that women can do to oppose it. We are not equal. Men are so, so much stronger than women and the disparity doesn’t stand solely from physical strength. Women have never fought for their rights, nor will they ever do. They don’t have it in them to stand up for what they believe in, unless it is by proxy, with the help of men. Even if women were to join forces, picked up arms, and fought against men, there is nothing that they could do. A gender war is not even within the realm of possibilities. If women are out of control, demanding, critical, and resort to anger to control their partner, it is because men let them do so.

Japanese women expect so much out of a man, yet they give so little in return. There is no reciprocity, and young men learned from the mistakes of their father; they refuse to die of Karōshi for women who won’t love them back.

In the West, we see declining birth rates mainly because of women’s liberation, women’s entry into the workforce, and feminist movements, which we could call the ‘‘gynocentric left’’. In countries such as Japan and Korea, we see declining birth rates because of overly exaggerated traditional values, which creates a male disposability on steroids, and we could call that the ‘‘gynocentric right’’. In both cases, the results are the same as men are left ostracized.

In Korea, the number of marriages hit its lowest since 1977, and according to data from the government agency Statistics Korea, the annual marriage rate as decreased 54 times since 1970. To fight the low birth rates, students at some Korean universities are being offered courses that make it mandatory for them to date their classmates.

Countries on the gynocentric right are desperate to bring back the birth rates up, but birth rates continue to plummet since they refuse to address the deeper issues behind the decline.

Conspiracy theories claim that most of the ills of the world are orchestrated by a few elites, by the bankers, by the Jews, or by big multi-national conglomerates. I believe these allegations to be over exaggerated, if not outright false.

An ‘‘evil’’ multi-national business could crumble in no time if people choices’ changed. Let’s take Apple Inc. for example. Apple is one of the most successful businesses in the world, but even such a giant could fall very rapidly if everyone unanimously decided to never work for them again or if everyone stopped buying their products. In both scenarios, Apple would be doomed and their status of a corporate giant would evaporate before our very eyes. Of course, this will never happen in real life. People choose not to boycott Apple because they like their products, but it doesn’t change the fact that Apple can be so, so incredibly prosperous only because of people choices.

The primary force that drives civilization is people’s choices. The daily choices of the people, their life decisions, their judgments and actions, and their free will, when multiplied by millions upon millions of individuals, and by thousands and thousands of repeated actions, create an unstoppable tsunami that drives everything into motion. This gargantuan wave cannot be stopped no matter what we do. We, as a collective, always end up making the same choices, not because we are manipulated by the elites, by Satan, or by some reptilian aliens in human skin suits, but because of our nature.

Like all animals, human beings are hedonistic; we want to avoid pain and discomfort, and we want to maximize our pleasure. By performing this simple task, we accomplish our biological imperatives. Instincts are based on pleasure and pain, and by seeking what we deem pleasurable and by abstaining from doing harmful activities, we carry them out.

The two primary biological imperatives of every species are survival and reproduction, and these two primal drives are the most compelling forces behind human nature. Why is the family unit in rumble, why is western civilization in peril, why do most Western countries have an alarmingly large dept, why are feminism and socialism so prevalent in our societies, why do we have gynocentric tendencies, why do we lack empathy for men and boys, why do we wage war, why do we have herbivore men in Japan, why do we have a collection of men going their own way, why does the cycle of civilization always repeat itself?

All of this is because we are hedonistic. We follow our instincts. We are mammals. Our biological imperatives dictate our choices, and these choices overshadow our lives. We may adapt our behaviors according to our environment, but we will always do it in a manner that will give us as many advantages as possible to accomplish our two primal biological functions.

We are the cause. We are responsible for the current state of the world. Blaming others is useless and is a complete waste of time. You see, the variable that is constant in conspiracy theories is not the politicians, not the oligarchs or the rich people, or the aliens. It’s not Satan and his fallen angels. These politicians and oligarchs could be replaced by other rich people and by other politicians, and those otherworldly creatures could also replaced by other villainous monsters, and nothing would change. Thus, they are not a fixed variable. The only set variable in this equation is us, the people. No matter who is in power, no matter what happens in the world, we will always end up doing the same thing. We will invariably end up making the same choices, and we will perpetually end up following our biological predispositions.

Human nature is fixed. Our instincts are unalterable. Our choices are not manipulated, they are the reflection of our most basic, natural state, and the circumstances of the modern world is the result of our predispositions. That is the way that nature works; it’s the way that we are made.

History repeats itself, and nobody can do anything about it. I don’t take conspiracy theories seriously because, in my opinion, things would be the same whether they were right or false. Conspiracy theories pale in front of the power of the tsunami generated by millions and millions of choices, multiplied by the thousands and thousands of actions repeated by everyone. This Tsunami may change its flow, but in the end, a wave is still a wave, and eventually, it will come crashing right into our faces. The state of the world is very predictable when you take human nature into account.

‘‘Permanent superiority has never been realized by any nation in history. After the rise comes the fall.’’

- Paul Harris –

The inevitability of certain things can be profoundly frustrating, and at times, greatly depressing. But, by understanding specific concepts, one can come to realize that taking care of oneself takes precedence over flailing angrily at the rain, especially since doing so won’t stop the storm.

This chapter deviate from the main topic of this book, but through it there is a message that I would like to send to men who are fervently fighting for men’s rights:

Fighting for men’s right is bound to end up in failure.

Civilization cannot allow men to be liberated en masse. The flesh and blood of men is required to oil the machinery of civilization. Our hands are not tied because of a social construct that we can smash with a hammer, but by the very laws of nature.

For all the men’s right activists out there, I sincerely hope that your endeavour doesn’t end up draining all your energy and sap your happiness. I fear that fighting for a cause that goes against the tsunami of civilization may bring you nothing but disappointment and pain.

For those who believe in conspiracy theories, I advise you to stop blaming the external world for the troubles in your life and those around you. Individuals have agency and, more often than not, are responsible for their own suffering. The chances are that blaming the ills around you on elusive conspiracy theories instead of looking inward will bind you to a life of anger and resentment.

Coming to the realization that human nature is the real issue and making peace with this reality may be the only way to find a genuine peace of mind. My advice is to do what makes you fulfilled while finding your personal purpose. That alone makes life worthwhile. There are so many things that are unmovable in our lives.

I believe that it is impossible to liberate all men, but it is definitely achievable to help a few individuals out there. We can’t change society, but we can change our behaviors and avoid most of the ills of the current world. At the very least, it would be short-sighted to waste opportunities to do something that brings you satisfaction and contentment because of some pent-up resentment or lingering pain.

Previous chapter Next chapter